Mick Jagger’s Sons Aren’t Exactly Rock Royalty (and It’s Wild)

Pull up a chair, because we’ve got some family drama that could rival a season finale of any reality show — the iconic Mick Jagger, now a sprightly 82 (seriously, how is this man not a mummy?), was recently spotted in the stands passionately supporting England’s football team alongside three of his sons: James (40), Lucas (27), and the pint-sized Deveraux (9). Talk about a family portrait that screams diversity — these boys come from different baby mamas, and it shows. But here’s where it gets truly bizarre: whispers from insiders suggest that while Mick is living his best rock star life, his offspring are having none of it. Yup, it seems they’re not particularly keen on the whole rock god vibe. Rumour has it they find his passion for ballet, cricket, and all that landed gentry nonsense about as appealing as a soggy biscuit. Like, how do you not want to dive headfirst into the chaotic world of rock 'n' roll? Instead, it appears the only rhythm they’re vibing with is football — their bonding activity of choice. Can we seriously talk about how atypical this is? Oh, and let’s not forget the missing link: Gabriel (28), who’s also James’s brother, didn’t show for this football family outing. Sources say Mick’s sons are all totally different characters, which isn’t surprising given the multiple baby mama jazz going on. But here’s the kicker: it sounds like they’re just trying to make sense of their lives under the shadow of a rock legend who might not exactly be on their wavelength. The Jagger legacy? Well, it might be legendary in the charts but not so much at home. Keep your eyes peeled for more updates on this wild saga!*

—Rex Rumor