Vicky Pattison Breaks Down Over Baby Drama (and We’re Not Crying with Her)

Buckle up, because our favorite chaotic starlet, Vicky Pattison, is having a meltdown that could fill a swimming pool with tears. This former queen of Geordie Shore, at the ripe age of 38, is feeling lost in the baby department and she’s spilling the details like a cheap bottle of wine. Apparently, she envisioned herself riding the baby train by now, but instead, it looks like she’s hopping on the frozen embryo express (talk about dramatic).

In a recent podcast appearance—one we won’t bother naming—Vicky laid bare her fertility saga in all its messy, tear-soaked glory. This icon has been upfront about her decision to freeze her eggs since turning 35 because, shocker, she wanted a bit of control over the baby-making process. Now, she and her husband Ercan are ready to get those plans rolling (how sweet... or is it a bit desperate?). But here’s the kicker: she’s feeling overwhelmed because, surprise!—she didn’t expect to be staring down her late 30s without a little one to dote on.

During her heartfelt ramble, she lamented, ‘I didn’t think I’d be this age without a baby or a family,’ and while we feel that, honey, maybe a bit of foresight next time wouldn’t hurt? Vicky went on to wax poetic about feeling “ready,” claiming that when the moment strikes, it’s like a biological light switch flipped on. You know how it goes: one moment you’re thriving, the next you’re spiraling over the absence of tiny shoes in your life.

And, of course, she couldn’t resist gushing over her husband, declaring he’d make the world’s greatest dad—hold those brown-nosing accolades, darling; we’re not buying it just yet. They’re attempting to keep it low-key, bless their hearts, while she lovingly refers to her egg-freezing decision as a “security blanket.” (Because who doesn’t want to keep their eggs stored away like holiday decorations?)

Here’s hoping she navigates this baby maze soon, because honestly, we’d prefer not to witness a grown woman sobbing over the absence of miniature socks cluttering her floor.

—Dahlia