England Wags Are a Mess in the Stands After Heartbreak (Again)

Oh, darling, the drama is real! The England WAGs were reduced to tears as Argentina mercilessly booted their beloved Three Lions out of the World Cup. It’s like watching a tragic opera, only with more mascara running down perfectly contoured faces. Cue the sobbing! Megan Pickford was spotted looking utterly devastated while her husband Jordan buried his head in his hands—how poetic! Meanwhile, Naima Corbin and Ellie Watkins clutched their partners like they were the last lifeboats on the Titanic.

For those who missed the spectacle, England started strong with Anthony Gordon netting a goal that had the crowd buzzing. But just as dreams began to blossom, Enzo Fernández decided to play the villain with a long-range strike that flipped the atmosphere faster than a Kardashian marriage. And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, the one and only Messi graced us with a breathtaking cross, only for Lautaro Martínez to deliver the final blow—classic!

As the referee blew the final whistle, poor Megan was a sight to behold. Hands on her head, eyes wide like she just walked into a horror film, she encapsulated the despair of a nation. And let’s not forget the other WAGs—Harry Kane's wife Kate and Jude Bellingham's girlfriend Ashlyn Castro also looked like they’d just lost their favorite heels. Just 90 minutes earlier, these glamazons were all smiles, strutting in like they owned the place, ready to cheer their lads in Atlanta. Now? Well, it’s safe to say they’ll be vanishing into a cloud of glitter until the next big event. Bless their hearts.

—Dahlia