Junior Andre and Princess Andre Get Matching Tattoos (as If That Will Fix Their Daddy Issues)

Well, darlings, here’s a delightful little morsel for you: a certain reality star offspring duo has decided that matching tattoos will somehow solve their daddy issues. Please, stop the presses! We’re talking about the progeny of a certain washed-up pop icon, who’s had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster designed by a blindfolded toddler. Apparently, these two have inked 'unconditional' onto their skin as a lovely tribute to their father, because what else is a celebrity child supposed to do with their time? Honestly, it’s exhausting.

Junior, the 21-year-old chaos agent, and Princess, his 19-year-old counterpart in this melodrama, dropped this news during some eye-roll-worthy showcase event. How original, right? Sources say they’re feeling ‘neglected’ by their mother, who’s too busy making headlines for spectacularly wrong reasons—it's giving ‘cry for attention’ vibes.

Junior, in a moment of profound lyrical insight, mentioned, ‘The word that we got, our dad basically wrote a song with that word.’ As if we needed reminding! Yes, their dad penned a song titled 'Unconditional'. How sweet, but let’s be real—doesn’t it reek of desperation? The ink may be small, but the issues they’re trying to cover up are colossal. And Princess even chimed in with a poetic reflection that their father is technically a stepdad to their brother Harvey, because nothing screams family unity like tattoos that yell ‘look at us!’

In all seriousness, these two are merely trying to construct their family narrative amidst the chaos, but the thought of it all? Please. We can’t help but roll our eyes at this latest attempt to bond through the power of ink. What’s next, matching onesies?

—Dahlia